Skulls and Reapers
It’s what’s inside you that counts, and that happens to be a big ol’ pile of bones. Wear it on your sleeve.
Apparel for the End of the World
There are a couple “new kids” on the block when it comes to the American death cult scene. And these kids aren’t even American! Moontrash is a group of beer guzzling wilted souls who seem to have their finger on the pulse of something going on in the American zeitgeist. The cult sells wry, tasteless t-shirts that promote their “agenda of agendalessness” to other likeminded folks all over the world. We sat down with their leaders, two aliens named Skittles and Septic Grape, to find out just what’s makes the cult tick.
“About 2 years ago, we were trolling your galaxy here looking for a dying planet to expand the group.” Said Septic Grape, a reptilian looking creature with exceptional manners for a misanthrope from another planet. “When we read the levels of despair and anger coming from Earth, we absolutely had to make a stop.”
“We shot down a beam of high density sonic vibrations that can measure the amount of positive, high vibrational energy coming off of living creatures. When we detected the pockets of low frequency negative energy radiating off of the humans of Earth, boy howdy, lets just say we got a little tingle in our dingles.” Said Skittles, a 731 thousand year old mosquito-like humanoid from the outer rings of Cosmos Redshift 7. “Me and Grape have been doing this a long time and we haven’t seen anything like this in a few millennia. These folks are fucking miserable.”
When asked what they’ve liked about Earth so far they took no time to answer.
SK: “Thats easy, the incredible stink of desperation coming off of all these people. Doesn’t matter if they’re rich, poor, fat, thin, young, old, all these sad fucks want to be something they’re not. It’s perfect for what we do.”
SG: “You really don’t see this absence of self awareness in any other creature. At least not in my intergalactic travels. Look at the creatures on this planet as examples. Bugs are bugs, bears are bears. These humans are all trying so hard to identify themselves as unique and different from all the other humans and it drives them all crazy. And once they start identifying as a group and distinguishing other groups as inferior, forget about it. That’s when they really lose their shit. We couldn’t have found a better spot.”
That evening I went to one of the groups hang outs. An abandoned Chi Chi’s Mexican restaurant in Mendota, CA (the cantaloupe capital of the world) There was a bootleg tattoo party going on and everyone was wearing the cult’s now iconic clothing. T-shirts saying things like, “Don’t or do not, there is no try” Or just simply, “FUCK YOU.”.
The two aliens sat towards the back of the main dining room, playing the Nintendo game RC Pro Am on an old CRTV. They switched between drinking beer and eating food as fast as they could between the curves of the game. Both their bodies undulating with the high strung chaos of the races.
The cult does have some interesting points. With the warm scent of societal collapse in the air and the looming shadow of climate catastrophe seeming to be unstoppable at this point, yolo-ing yourself 6 feet underground does have an allure to it. Some followers said Moontrash helps them welcome the end of all things with a smile.
“I’ve had both feet amputated over the last 5 years due to my diabetes. Once you have no feet and you still can’t afford to combat your completely avoidable yet imminent death, you kind of start to laugh at how silly it is.” Said Chad Barks, 36 from Fresno. “I say bring on the horse cocks and diet pills man! Check this shit out…”
Chad wheeled himself over to a rusty barrel full of garbage and spent fryer oil, dipped a 40oz into it and lit it on fire. He then proceeded to chug the entire thing. “We call that one The Semen Demon,” moaned Barks through an extended belch.
Their success has been quick and widespread as they have turned the Moontrash clothing brand into a successful business where people from all over the world can buy their crude, tasteless apparel that the members create and submit for sale on the cults website, www.moontrashapparel.com
When asked what they’ve liked about Earth so far they took no time to answer.
SG: “You really don’t see this absence of self awareness in any other creature. At least not in my intergalactic travels. Look at the creatures on this planet as examples. Bugs are bugs, bears are bears. These humans are all trying so hard to identify themselves as unique and different from all the other humans and it drives them all crazy. And once they start identifying as a group and distinguishing other groups as inferior, forget about it. That’s when they really lose their shit. We couldn’t have found a better spot.”
The two aliens sat towards the back of the main dining room, playing the Nintendo game RC Pro Am on an old CRTV. They switched between drinking beer and eating food as fast as they could between the curves of the game. Both their bodies undulating with the high strung chaos of the races.
“I’ve had both feet amputated over the last 5 years due to my diabetes. Once you have no feet and you still can’t afford to combat your completely avoidable yet imminent death, you kind of start to laugh at how silly it is.” Said Chad Barks, 36 from Fresno. “I say bring on the horse cocks and diet pills man! Check this shit out…”
Their success has been quick and widespread as they have turned the Moontrash clothing brand into a successful business where people from all over the world can buy their crude, tasteless apparel that the members create and submit for sale on the cults website, www.moontrashapparel.com
